The Battle of Brushing

I can admit it: I didn't start brushing my son's teeth as early as I should have. I regularly wiped his gums down with a rag before he had teeth. After his teeth came in, I sometimes gave him the banana brush to chew on, but until he was about 18 months, I didn't brush every day. And from 18 months until about 22.5 months (today marks 23 months) it has been a battle. Almost every night. And the nights it hasn't been a battle, I haven't had it in me to fight the good fight. I've "forgotten" to brush his teeth. Most mornings it is a battle too, but after sleeping and only having mama milk at night, I didn't feel as strongly about a thorough brushing in the morning. His meager brush chewing and sucking off the toothpaste has satisfied my morning demands.
I tried everything I could think of. One night, I literally heard myself say "There will be no chocolate tomorrow if you don't brush your teeth tonight." Ridiculous. Absolutely absurd. An empty threat and a pathetic one at that. He even knew I was balking. (And of course, at this point, has no ability to benefit at all from a consequence that is inflicted later.) But oh man, in the moment, I meant it. I probably would have threatened no chocolate ever again for the rest of his life, but he lives with his grandpa and I knew this out of my control.
We picked out new toothbrushes together, two of them. A car one and a cookie monster one so he could choose which one to brush with thinking this would be enough of a chance to exert his power of choice. He still chose not to cooperate with brushing. I tried singing goofy songs and doing silly dances.When you wake up in the morning at a quarter to one and all you wanna do is have some fun, you brush your teeth!  I tried reasoning with him. Your teeth with get boo boos if you don't brush and you don't want that! I tried begging. First with my mom-Will you please brush his teeth!!!!! and then with him--Come on, Zav. Please. I just need you to brush your teeth! I dreaded this part in our day. No matter how amazing our time had been, this is how we ended our day.

This one we staged and just pretended,  but it actually looked a lot like this!

Yes, I tried holding him upside down while I brushed. He thought it was fun to go upside down, until he saw the tooth brush heading his way.

Then, Mama Suerte took a deep breath (and a jar of peanut butter) and spent a good 45 minutes just reflecting on what hasn't work thus far in my parenting journey and why. Threats weren't working and they just aren't me. They aren't how I operate. We do goofy all day long so being goofy wasn't doing the teeth trick. Begging defeats the purpose. Even if it worksed, which it didn't, my goal was to teach him to brush his teeth and take care of his oral health as part of our successful bedtime routine. Then, I had the idea to try teaching him. He loves learning. He loves books that tell him facts and loves to recall these facts later. I decided to give it a try. I spent another twenty minutes researching his favorite topics.
The next morning (our more successful time--always a good time to introduce a kid to something new), I said "Oh buddy, as you brush today, I wanted to tell you something I learned about trucks!" I shared three facts about dump trucks slowly, as I brushed and re-brushed the surface of his teeth. That night? Concrete mixers. Again, a success. There's no fighting and no arguing. He just opens his mouth and lets me go to down. When he pulls away, I take out the brush and listen to what he wants to share, often something he knows about the topic, and then start again, overly excited to share the next fact.
So now, a few weeks later, I can tell you anything you want to know about fire trucks, dump trucks, bridges, New York City, his daddy, and firefighters. I'm researching new facts all the time.  Do you know that the driver of the biggest dump truck has to climb 14 steps to get in the driver's seat? I do. And so does Z-man.